The Frugal Lawyer

Citibank Killed a Unicorn and It Bled Rainbows: A picture story

Remember how the Debt Ninja stared into my soul and figured out that there was a Debt Unicorn?  Now, through pictures, I prove that when you sacrifice the debt unicorn, rainbows appear.  Oddly, hidden codes are also revealed about your feelings toward your credit card issuer once the unicorn is sacrificed.  I am sad to say that a unicorn was harmed in this experiment.  Blame Citibank.  We will now commence our picture story.

 

Goodbye, Citibank. FOREVER.

CRAZY has been making me check my balances every morning while I eat my cereal.  Well, it happened.  Citibank is paid off.  I may have a very small balance next month from interest, but I will take care of that super fast because I hate them.  My oldest card.  The company that tried to screw me over the most.  The company that actually raised my interest rate when I joined CCCS.

I'm now going to run through the house singing "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" until it's time to leave for work.

Debt: A karate chop to the throat and a kick to the business

Yesterday, I posted my update to the Danielle Deficit for January.  I'm making nice progress.  But when I post for February, I'm going to make progress that makes me giddy.  Last year, I received a year end bonus.  I put it all toward my little financial situation.  As I've stated before, I'm not a Dave Ramsey girl.  I'm not paying off the lowest balance.  To me, that seems silly because it is at 2% on my DMP.  Instead, I'm paying off the highest interest rate.  Shittybank.  Sorry, Citibank.  9.99%  This gives me great pleasure since the bastards tried to increase my rate to something like 900% last spring and I rejected the terms.  I.Hate.Them.  Sooooo happy that they will be paid in full. 

This has put a spring in my step and it has activated a certain area of my brain known as CRAZY.  Those of you who know me personally or read Kittenagogo know and love (or know and tolerate/fear) CRAZY.  This is the uber-competitive CRAZY side of me that must win at everything.  Now, CRAZY is activated.  CRAZY wants to win at becoming a millionaire.  CRAZY has decided that the next step is to beat the shit out of the remaining credit cards.  I don't mean a little bit here and there.  I mean, Jersey-style Sopranos CRAZY Pine Barrens in the snow Fargo wood chipper beat the shit out of it. 

I advised Money Coach of this.  I tried not to let too much of CRAZY come through, but I think he knows about her anyway as I have a general inability to self-censor.  But, whatever CRAZY wants, CRAZY gets.  She's like that.  (I honestly hoped to keep her pretty well hidden on this blog, but I didn't realize how much she would enjoy paying off debt.  I knew she would enjoy making the spreadsheets, but it wasn't enough to get her fired up into all caps.  And please note, she does NOT like when you use an exclamation point after her name.  All caps, no exclamation point.  Thanks.) 

CRAZY's plan:

1.  Kill Citibank FOREVER.  They are dead to us now.
2.  Discover is next.  They are the next highest interest rate at 6.99 percent.  At least 70% of all extra money in budget will be sent to pay Discover each month.  If I send $1000 to MMI each month (which is feasible), then I can have it paid by October or November.  However, CRAZY wants it paid off sooner, so we need to sell some stuff.  All money made from things in consignment and any other sales goes to MMI for extra payments.
3.  Then, Discover is dead to us.  Although they were kind enough.  I don't hate them like I hate Citibank.
4.  Chase/Wamu.  Attack with same force that previously went to Discover.  This should move quickly since the interest rate is 2%.  I never liked this card.  I do, however, like Chase.
5.  Then, finish with lowest balance, which should take no time at all since it will be paid on the entire time that I am attacking the other cards that I hate.  Frankly, the Chase/Borders card was always my favorite anyway.  If I were to keep a card for financially responsible convenience use, this would be the one.  With the aggressive level of payments that I will already be making, this will take no more than four months to pay off. 

I am going to kick this debt in the ass.  I will be paid off VERY quickly.  I was originally happy with the thought of 2014.  Then by the end of 2011.  Now, I am aiming for earlier than the end of 2011.  I don't know if it will happen before the end of this year, that may be a bit too aggressive, because I also intend to save quite a bit, but it won't be far into 2011. 

DEBT, YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF SURVIVING IN THE HOUSE OF CRAZY!!!!!!!

Today is a new beginning

This is the big day.  I start my DMP officially (i.e., they are taking the money from my account for my first batch of payments).  This is very exciting and a little scary.  I hope all of the creditors accept the proposals.

Taking the next step

Today, I sent all of the paperwork to MMI so that I can start my DMP.  Here's to being debt-free (except for the day student loans) in 5 years!

The Big Leap

For well over a year, I have been struggling to get my debt under control and I have failed miserably. My credit cards are out of control.  Our mortgage went up because the jackasses at Indymac screwed up our escrow, so our payment is way higher than it should be for the next year. 

It dawned on me last week - I had to find a better way to handle this or there is absolutely no way that I would be able to handle my student loan payments in February (when my financial hardship forbearance is over - it's been three years of avoidance).

I am constantly engaging in yuppie whining on Facebook and my other blog.  Randomly, a friend suggested that I try MMI for credit counseling.  Since I was declined for a second personal loan last week, I thought about it and decided to call.

My counselor, Belinda, spent an hour on the phone with me.  At the end, I got a list of the four options that I think they give everyone.  1) Handle it myself (not working); 2) don't remember; 3) bankruptcy (don't qualify, trust me, I've looked into it) and 4) a debt management plan ("DMP"). The DMP scares me.  All of my credit cards will be closed.  It will probably have a negative impact on my credit.  But, let's be honest, just how good is my credit when I've got $35.5k in credit cards?  I've never once been late on a payment, but I don't think that would be the case in February when the government wants $330 a month for financing my law school education.  (Bloodsuckers.)

Even with the potential drawbacks, there is sooooo much to love about my DMP.  I will be out of debt 20 years earlier.  Yeah, that's right - twenty.  Belinda made me a nice spreadsheet with graphs and calculations.  I will save $20,000.00 in interest.  The plan lasts for five years.  The payment works within my budget once the loans are out of forbearance.  Finally, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

In five years, my credit card debt will be paid off.  In five years, my loan from Bank of Grandfather will be paid off.  With those payments alone, my disposable income will increase $1,200 a month.  Right now, my disposable income is $.42 each month.  Just five years away...

I am very excited about the DMP.  It is the perfect solution.  Honestly, if it ruins my credit, I don't care at this point.  It will be a pain in the ass next year when the lease is up on my car, but I cannot wait any longer.  I wish I had done this a year ago because then I would only have four years left!

So, here's to the beginning of my journey to be debt free...